


MY

by Moonsetta



Series: DUO [11]
Category: Batman (Comics), Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Attempted divorce, Damian Wayne-mentioned, Dialogue-Only, Funny, Gen, Happy, Help, Humor, M/M, duo - Freeform, fail as usual, failed divorce, practice writing, triplets-mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-19 18:20:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5976643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonsetta/pseuds/Moonsetta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They needed a divorce and they needed it quickly! </p>
<p>A follow-up to ME. DUO series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Oh what to say? Life's been busy? I was looking over my DUO series yesterday (my gosh is my writing horrible) and I had this dialogue project to work on for my English professor so I wanted to practice and this happened.
> 
> The pics here I'm printing out and turning into bookmarks. That's why they exist but maybe they'll do some good here as creative page breaks.
> 
> This creation inspired by my beta ChibiFoxAI.

“This is ridiculous.”

“So the ceremony in Salamanca is out I guess?”

“We need a divorce and fast. I regret to admit it but…we’ll need some help.”

“People-now that’s a resource I can organize, Boss.”

[](http://s1381.photobucket.com/user/MoonsettaRays/media/MY/FN_zps0slco5pd.jpg.html)

“How’s the big guy bride-to-be?”

“Wally I swear to everything you are going to help me get a divorce or else!”

“Uh, no can do Wingster your sweet little demon kid promised me a sixteen course meal from Alfred if I don’t get involved.”

“WALLY!”

“Hey-not even the Bat could turn down Alfred’s roast turkey!”

“…”

“Uh, why are you suddenly smiling?”

“Hey Jai! Irey! You want to hear some stories about your dad from our Teen Titans days?”

“Hey no wait! Get back here! You can’t-“

“The rumors are true the first time he laid eyes on Batman he was so scared-HMPH!”

“Alright I’ll help!”

“Ah, thanks buddy I knew you’d come around.”

“I don’t care about the blue bird symbol you wear now-you are always…always a BAT!”

“Uncle Dick, is it true that Dad lost his pants running away from Batman?”

“Well…”

“Don’t you dare!”

[](http://s1381.photobucket.com/user/MoonsettaRays/media/MY/BMMM_zpsnr1didgy.jpg.html)

“Listen J’onn. I simply need to know the customs of Martian culture, if there’s a possible solution and if you’re qualified. If it even matters at this point.”

“Forgive me but I am still confused.”

“AH! J’onn I need a DIVORCE! Immediately!”

“Are you not content in your marriage?”

“We were married against our wills.”

“True, but I have sensed little that is distraught between the two of you. Is Nightwing not favorable as a life partner?”

“That has nothing to do with this.”

“I simply mean to draw attention to the fact that you two appear to be content when engaged in activities for life partners.”

“J’onn what are you talking about?”

“Both of you are happy together-so why would you wish to end your marriage?”

“Forget it.”

“Batman, I apologize that I could not be of any help-”

[](http://s1381.photobucket.com/user/MoonsettaRays/media/MY/SMNW_zpsatmcv2ap.jpg.html)

“I don’t know Dick. These exclusive interviews are getting the Daily Planet a lot of recognition lately.”

“Come on Clark. If we don’t get that document annulled by the end of the week the entire world is going to eat it up.”

“Well Lois would probably-“

“Stop it. Need I remind you who you’re talking to?”

“Whom.”

“That’s it! To the rooftop!”

“Wha-HEY!”

“OK, now that we’re out of hearing distance-”

“How did you even get me up here that fast?”

“Bat Trade Secret now-“

“Look Dick I know it might be a difficult adjustment finding yourself tied even more to Bruce but-”

“Clark as your kinda-nephew and almost-son I promise I will post that video of you under the effects of periwinkle kryptonite if you don’t help me.”

“Where did you get it!?”

“Bat Trade Secret. Now, what do you say?”

“…Deal...”

“Wow that sounded like it hurt.”

[](http://s1381.photobucket.com/user/MoonsettaRays/media/MY/BR%20BT_zpsk0iuzh2u.jpg.html)

“Hey Bruce.”

“Hm.”

“Didn’t go well with the Martian possibility of separation huh?”

“Hm. Have you finished reading the paperwork?”

“Yes Bruce. I’ve finished reading all 457,763 lines…again.”

“And?”

“None of them have changed from the 34th time I read it.”

“There has to be something!”

“Hey, Steph and Cass are at a drug exchange on the docks. Why don’t you go take your irritation out on the criminal element?”

“…”

“And I’ve had them searching too. They might have an idea or two about this.”

“What could they know about this?”

“I don’t know, it’s a possibility. Slim, but a possibility.”

“By sheer dumb luck you mean…fine.”

[](http://s1381.photobucket.com/user/MoonsettaRays/media/MY/RHNW_zps0leldrql.jpg.html)

“Uh-uh! No way! Not helping you or the Bat!”

“Well Jaybird I could-“

“No you have nothing on me Dick.”

“Bruce did tell me about the time he had to tell you to “think clean thoughts” when you were around Diana.”

“No.”

“Oh yeah, Troia did tell me about that one time when you, her and Kyle were looking for Ray Palmer and you freaked out when an alternate version of me was going on a suicide mission-”

“That won’t work Goldie.”

“And I have access to Alfred’s scrapbook.”

“Still not working.”

“Grr! I will MOM you when you’re interrogating a drug dealer next time! I swear I will bring a brag booklet of old pictures of you as Robin!”

“LALALA! Can’t hear you!”

“Get back here!”

“LALALALALALALALALA!”

“Fine! Have it your way!”

......

“And here he was at the League Christmas party. Someone glued the antlers to his head and used rubber cement to put on the glowing nose.”

“Stop!”

“Oh, and here was Easter with the pink bunny rabbit outfit-diaper included for when he-”

“THAT’S IT! I’LL KILL YOU!”

“Oh, shiny gun Hood. You’ll have to catch me first.”

“I’LL FILL YOU FULL OF LEAD! THAT’LL GET YOU OUT OF THE MARRIAGE!”

“Hm? Maybe…YIKES!”

“YOU’RE DEAD DICK!”

[](http://s1381.photobucket.com/user/MoonsettaRays/media/MY/BMBBBG_zpsu132gllp.jpg.html)

“Hey Boss. How’s the Hot-stuff husband?”

“Your continued obsession with my partner and I is becoming disturbing.”

“Aw! But you two are so cute and so hot together.”

“Ignoring the last part of that comment. Cassandra?”

“…sorry…”

“Yeah Boss, the little demon has made your marriage contract air tight. There’s nothing you can do on this planet at least. Legally that is.”

“Hm. Illegally?”

“…no.”

“Sorry Batman, we found an underground statement but it only works if both partners are foreign to America.”

“…Yes.”

“Ugh! This not fair!”

“That’s life!”

“Moving!”

“Hey Cass wait up! I’m your back up!”

[](http://s1381.photobucket.com/user/MoonsettaRays/media/MY/Oracle_zpswbz3kcc7.jpg.html)

“Hey Babs.”

“…”

“Now listen I know you’re still mad-Babs? Babs? Hey Babs! Pick up your comm!”

“…”

“…That went well.”

[](http://s1381.photobucket.com/user/MoonsettaRays/media/MY/BMS_zpsnrmbcwm5.jpg.html)

“Huh?”

“Billy I need to talk to Shazam.”

“Why can’t you tell me?”

“You’re not old enough.”

“Then I won’t help you.”

“Why did it have to be a kid?”

“What was that?”

“Please Billy. I need your help. At this point I believe you’re my only hope.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“OK. SHAZAM!”

“That never gets normal. I require the wisdom of Solomon.”

“Yes, my friend. How may I be of service?”

“I need to divorce my husband but we’re under contract.”

“Simple. Swoon him and no divorce will be required.”

“That’s not-ugh! Never mind. What was I thinking?”

[](http://s1381.photobucket.com/user/MoonsettaRays/media/MY/NWH_zpswjcwaews.jpg.html)   


“No I can’t get Oracle to talk to you again. You’re in your own grave Nightwing. You and the Bat both.”

“Alright fine. She’s still pissed-I get that but I need an annulment of this marriage certificate by Sunday.”

“Why don’t you two just burn it?”

“We only have copies. Damian has hidden the originals and the U.S. government have their own copies.”

“Damn, that’s a spot.”

“Huntress if you have any ideas or if you can get a request to Oracle please do so.”

“The things I do for you. But only for you I’m not doing anything for the Bat. Got it?”

“Oh thank you Helena. Mwah!”

“Hey! I don’t need to start running from your angry bat of a husband. Don’t make a scene!”

[](http://s1381.photobucket.com/user/MoonsettaRays/media/MY/outsiders_zpsdqgqvivz.jpg.html)

“This was a bad idea.”

“Arsenal left us.”

“Are you the only one here?”

“Geoforce is out back.”

“Alright Jade I have a new job for the Outsiders.”

“And?”

“What would your group think about breaking into the Library of Congress?”

“Listening.”

“If I can’t annul this engagement I need its sources destroyed. Get in, find the packets, destroy them however you wish and ensure no more exist.”

“Batman sir-“

“I thought you were hogging the hammock and bird watching?

“They started falling out of the sky. It was weird.”

“What do you mean they were falling out of the sky?”

“Well-”

[](http://s1381.photobucket.com/user/MoonsettaRays/media/MY/titans_zpsolfoolwd.jpg.html)

“Hey we were going to plan an intervention but the demon brat was too quick.”

“Wally, you’re already helping me. Don’t dig your grave any deeper.”

“Look Dick I am perfectly willing to shoot him-”

“Roy do I need to remind you of the last time you shot Batman?”

“I swear he won’t catch the arrow this time!”

“Dick, sweetie. If he’s hurt one hair on your head-”

“I’m fine Donna-just stressed. I need a way to get out of this…entanglement. Garth? Is there some kind of overarching Atlantis law or tradition that-“

“Nope. Sorry. Our laws don’t affect the surface.”

“OK. I need to…”

“Hey Dick, where are you going?”

“Calling Superman again. Maybe there’s a Kryptonian something that Damian doesn’t have in the contract.”

“That Demon brat included Kryptonian laws into your marriage contract?”

“He integrated every culture’s law!”

[](http://s1381.photobucket.com/user/MoonsettaRays/media/MY/Bat%20Night_zps0vitsgqv.jpg.html)

“The Post Racial Engagement Strike State?”

“Developed by a Brazilian hunter and French heiress here in Gotham in 1908.”

“So, the one option we have is completely ruined by your Wayne Mayflower status?”

“…Yes.”

“Oh forget it! I’ll send in my resignation and get packing. I can be moved in by Wednesday.”

“…check on the triplets before you leave. Tommy had a bit of a fever earlier.”

* * *

“Ha! I did it! I made it out of the Speedforce! Barry Allen is back!”

“Extra! Extra! Rumors confirmed! Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson release wedding video to public domain!”

“HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN GONE!?”


	2. DUO timeline update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DUO timeline with MY included now. Yay?

[](http://s1381.photobucket.com/user/MoonsettaRays/media/Covers/duo%20sseries_zpssjl3i3cp.jpg.html)

There ya go!


End file.
